Will Clark’s valedictorian address from 2008

The boldest thing/action that I have ever seen in 33+ years on this earth. A teen who I mentored (I didn’t do a great job) was selected as highest among his high school class. His speech still haunts me today…

“The Times I will Never Forget”

Good morning.  Today, we come together to commemorate a huge milestone in our lives.  This is certainly a joyous time, worthy of this ceremony and of the celebration that will take place throughout the rest of the day.  However, as this day has approached, as the pomp and circumstance has come to fill my thoughts and prayers, I have more and more come to rest not on the happiness that all of us share in this day.  Please do not misunderstand; in no way do I mean to diminish the accomplishments being honored today, but you see, for some time now I have envisioned myself looking out over this crowd.  In my dreams the moment has been almost surreal, a blur of sound, color, and emotion.  As this moment drew near, the image in my mind began to become more focused.  Slowly, the swirl of sights, sounds, and emotion turned into faces, voices, and memories.  As I stand here now I am truly humbled.  As, one after another, students, classmates, parents, teachers, and friends cross my mind; my heart wells up with memories, vivid memories of moments and times that I will truly never forget.  It is with great joy that I relive the wonderful experiences that I have had with so many of you throughout the years; times of happiness and of sadness, times of expectation and of disappointment, times of laughter and of tears, times of ecstacy and of agony, triumphant victories, and crushing defeats.  The Bible, in the book of Ecclesiastes, chapter 3, the first part of verse 11, it is said of God that “He has made everything beautiful in its time”.  That truth from God’s Word has proven itself such in my life, for though I did not always realize it, now looking back, I see everything that God has laid out in my life and in the experiences that we have shared and see that the good, the bad, the encouraging, the confusing, the wonderful, and the terrible have all worked together and in their time as ordained by God are truly beautiful.  And yet, of all my memories, there is one and only one that has continually pushed its way to the forefront of my mind.  This memory finds itself shortly after the beginning of my high school journey.  It is with picture perfect clarity that I recall that November evening, when, long before I had ever applied to a college, taken an AP exam, or won a state playoff game, I laid awake in my bed.  My heart weighed down in my chest, pinning me to my mattress.  I was full of questions; questions such as: “Who am I?”, “What is life all about?”, and “Can I make an impact?”.  The Lord dealt with me, and that night I fell to my knees and repented of my sins and accepted Jesus Christ as the Lord and Savior of my life.  It is this, more than any other moment, that I can not forget.  I believe the reason is found in the second part of Ecclesiastes 3:11, which tells us that “He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end”.  Truly, God has placed innumerable memories in my life–so much so that I will never be able to fully comprehend them and wrap my mind around them, and yet, in those things I will never find satisfaction.  The meaning and direction that I sought that night before God will never be found in the things of this Earth, but only in the all-sufficient grace and mercy of King Jesus.  That, dear friends is why amidst all the joy of this day, I am troubled.  I look out at all of you and see people who are talented, ambitious, intelligent, driven, and amazing.  Potential is an understatement for what can be accomplished by those who are here today.  I truly love all of you, and as such my heart breaks because I fear that some of you are seeking; seeking direction, meaning, and purpose in the things of this world which will inevitably leave us empty and incomplete.  My prayer is that as we depart from this place, all of you would know that the answer is found in Christ, who came to earth as a man, lived a perfect life, died upon a cross as the final payment of the sin debt that no one else could pay, and then in three days raised from the dead in Glory.  Now if we would only surrender to Him, he takes our failures and shortcomings and makes them into a something beautiful, all for the glory of His name.  In closing, I implore all of you to continue creating memories and moments that are unforgettable.  I hope with all sincerity that by taking hold of the gift of Salvation and Eternal Life that is found freely in Christ Jesus, that those moments would shine forever, not as our own legacy, but as a testament to the surpassing riches, grandness, and glory of God the Father and of our Lord Jesus.  Friends, I offer you and invitation, and, as is the day’s occasion, a commencement: An invitation–that today as we talk and reminisce over the past, let us fill our conversations with Christ, and leave this place to begin the next era of our lives free of doubt and confusion, certain of our standing before Holy God.  And a commencement–friends, family, faculty, staff, and the Class of 2008, to go, seek the Lord, walk in the Grace of Jesus, and to live our lives unforgettably, and with no regrets.  God bless you all.  Thank you.

2011 Chapel Q and A

A couple of weeks ago I was asked to speak at Augusta Christian School Chapel service along with 3 other-awesome bros who love Jesus and are Pastors in the Augusta area. This was a panel chapel where teens ask questions and we answer them. Since we have a new addition to our home (Daisy,a 3 month old) I wrote down some answers but after finishing my answers to the questions in a matter of 20 minutes…I thought “what a good  discipleship” time this would make. So I gave Hank Murphy, Drew Hall, & Will Clark a holler. These guys “did work” on Skype for a couple of hours. This was one of the proudest moments ever for a pastor/mentor to see his kids (they grown now…haha) tear the Scriptures up. I will be posting 3 questions and answers this week until all 15 have been posted…have fun reading.

2011 ACHS Chapel Questions

1. What is the true line between allowing something to come before God and spending time on other things?

This, like most everything else, is a heart issue.  The real issue/question is (or should be): What’s on the throne in your heart?  Who is it that has your worship/what makes your world go round?  Are you dependent on Jesus and is He your life’s TRUE center?  Are you ALL His?  He doesn’t want anything else.  Mark 8:34-37.  The Bible says we are to do all things to glorify God, which includes the time we purposefully seek Him personally as well as the times we are living out life’s responsibilities.  1 Corinthians 10:31.  Colossians 3:17, 23.  Matthew 6:33.

God is not concerned with the “right” amount of time given to Him, you doing things religiously to gain His favor, etc., because if Jesus has your heart, He has your worship. Matthew 6.33 “Seek first His Kingdom”

2. If Jesus knows my heart and He knows I love Him and I know what is right, even though I continue to do the wrong things, where does that put me with God…even though I completely know and love God?

Everybody sins.  It is what happens after you sin that makes ALL the difference.  Christians are not people who do not sin, but rather people who know how to repent.  Repentance should be a continuous part of our walk with God.  Romans 7.  John 14:15 and 1 John 5:3.  Romans 8:1.  God knows our struggle with sin and His grace is ALWAYS enough.  We must fall on the mercy and grace of God and receive His forgiveness.  He loves you in your struggle, no matter how long it is, and He is making you more like Christ (Galatians 5).  The key is to QUICKLY and sincerely repent!

However, there are really two answers to this question:

1. If your heart is truly desiring to walk with God through Jesus, then this puts you in a place as His righteous child under lavished, limitless grace.  There is SO much grace for you it should make you uncomfortable.
2. If, in your heart you are actually just playing games with God (and you know if you are, so does God) and you have not truly surrendered to Christ, then it puts you in a place under His wrath, because you are still in your sins.  Do not play games with a Holy God.  He will NOT be mocked.  He will not be a means to your own desired end.  Matthew 10:26-28.  Galatians 6:7-8.  1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 20.  Jesus did what He did for you, to save you, to give you LIFE, to change you…UNDERSTAND THIS. We obey because He is good. Joy comes from obedience, not submission to rules or your behavior modification. One is cheap the other is not. 

3. When talking about God’s will…If a baby is born out of wedlock or because of rape, is that God’s will? Or is that baby’s new life part of God’s will? Or does God just “react” to what we do?

Genesis 50:19-21, Job 12:10, Job 38-41.  Yes.  God knows what He is doing.  God is sovereign.  God does not “will” rape or childbirth out of wedlock (because His word/His command is His will and these do not match up with His word), but God is also ALL about redemption, using our mess-ups for His glory and our good (look at the cross!).  He is the best at taking what seems bad and making it good…ALL because HE is good.

God does NOT just react to what we do, but everything goes through Him that happens on the earth (Job 1).  God can stop anything that has ever been done, but has a masterful PLAN that is above our wisdom.  We need to understand that GOD has an ETERNAL perspective and is the one who is in charge of life and death – He RULES over both of these events in all of life whether we like it or not (so, if we see life and death happening, God allowed it, justly and sovereignly).

*Shane and Diana having Daisy, was a blessing and a WORK or miracle of God, not just because they had marital sex.  God loves them and BLESSED them according to His will.  In the same way, a child who is born in any circumstance is a blessing from the Lord.  Psalm 127:3.  We know that childbirth is the will of God because the Word of God says so and that it is a blessing from Him. (Psalms 127:3-5 ESV)And when Esau lifted up his eyes and saw the women and children, he said, “Who are these with you?” Jacob said, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant.” (Genesis 33:5 ESV)He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the LORD! (Psalms 113:9 ESV)

Things that provoke me

Here are 4 things that provoke me daily.

1. When a Christ follower uses current sinful ways as an excuse to continue to rebel. I hate this because I wonder if they are really/or have really accepted God’s grace for their life. It seems to me that they conduct themselves as if the cross never happened. That bugs me.

Discretion advise: not saying being perfect or saying that you cant make mistakes. But if you don’t care and you choose to continue to rebel on your own omission…then you are a liar and the Gospel has never reached your heart. In this, it’s like a check getting bounce. It’s ok…but as soon as you know that there isn’t any money in the account you can’t keep writing checks because you are aware of the situation. Be wise.

2. When I hear a church that does a series after series and NEVER once mentions the Cross of Christ. Heed my advice and read the Bible…It’s cool to chatting about sex, poverty, worldview, politics, and money, but you better talk about the Cross of Christ. Motivation only last for so long and it will leave you exhausted. Only God can stir the heart and bend it in a way that reflects Him. So…I’m not saying that those things above isn’t good or not needed…just saying you better take them to the Cross…you aren’t that good bro.
3. Drama all day and no relief. If your life is that bad then just take some things off of your plate or take some meds. Things aren’t nearly as bad as it seems. Depending on your age, family matters, and responsibility, your case can be pretty rough or very smooth. I believe it’s all in a perspective and mindset. This comes from a dude who didn’t have the American dream child hood and someone who deals with people all the time. Really…if you want a perspective change, go to MCG and hang with the children who has cancer.
4. Pastors and musicians that take trendy way to far. I’m not talking about going to the GAP and buying an outfit that is in style. I’m talking more about the you dress a certain way and then BAM! Your style is changed and you are trying to be very current. This really depends on your age and your swagger (½ confidence level ½ personally). You either look like a fool or someone who is trying waaayyyy to hard at being someone they are not. Be yourself. I like to look at the 3 year window. You should have the same style for pretty much in a 3 year window time period then gradually evolving into your self more, then you get older and then kids-and life modifies you into what you will look like forever. Also a rule of thumb is your style should be consistent. If you play basketball in some DC shoes then that tells me your probably gonna where skinny jeans, but if you play in an entire NBA gear and wear form fitting clothes with skinny jeans on stage…that is not you dude. You have issues.

5. Pastors who cheat on their wives (their one wife) then get a divorce and then pastor a church. This is easy…read your Bible. If you can’t take care of your house hold then how can you take care of God’s bride? If you make a VERY poor decision then why should you or we elect (I don’t do that trash) or support you (don’t do that either) in your case to be a Pastor again.

Discretion advise: I’m not saying don’t forgive (this applies to pedophiles as well) but it would be unwise to place you back in that position. I don’t judge you as well. I have enough on my plate than to worry about you but facts are facts. Just work/serve as set up and breakdown or sound or something like that BUT not leadership. When you make a covenant with someone before God you need to take it serious. So if you don’t- why should we think in the case of a “job” you would be? If you think God wants you to then I say read your Bible because God doesn’t change His mind from what is written in the Bible. Since your a pastor you should have already known that.

Unstoppable:Purpose part II

Coming from you via Heredia, Costa Rica.

I like games. Banana Grams is now my favorite. I also like board games like Monopoly and Sorry. What about “hide and go seek.” Man…that game was played long ago (Adam and Eve). We all play games, but when we get older we play them in a different way. Let me explain further.

4 ways we treat life like a game:

1.    God WANTS me to be happy. Try tell that to Andrew & Philip from the Bible. You know that same guys in John 12. Both did what they were suppose to do when it came to living out the faith, but it left them beat and crucified.  That doesn’t sound like a happy ending, or even a happy good o’ day. People nowadays say, “well God wants me  to be happy, or God wants me to not be like that…He loves me and would never ask me to do that.” That my friend is a lie and is NO WHERE in the Bible. Our call in life is to love God’s people and walk in obedience to what God wants. When  Andrew was being crucified history says He said, “When I come nearer to the cross I become nearer to God. When I am farther from the cross I remain farther from God.” Sounds like he knew true happiness is being completely satisfied in God not himself. (Phil. 3:7-11)

2.    We make our OWN Jesus. I see this a lot inside the church but as well as NOT in the Church-with people who know enough of God to be dangerous. We tend to play the  “just enough” card. When things are good we do it big but when the line must be drawn we rather make another Jesus and call it ours. I’ve heard many people say, “God loves me and forgives me, all the while making a habit of sinning with preconceived  intentions. Sometimes it’s more like “The Bible says I need to take care of  my family 1st”  which is true but not at the cost of your relationship with God. That my friend is #1, family is #2. We play this game very well because we use scripture against its self when it comes for us to do something that we disagree with. Here is an example: Teenagers are rebelling and marriage is struggling. So you drop out of church to fix this all the while YOU have not ever included Jesus nor led your family in discipleship (you left that up to the pastor at your church). So instead of pouring into your family the love of Jesus you retreat to the lake for some R and R. There is a cost to following Jesus. In Luke 9:57-62, you have some people who come to Jesus wanting to follow Him. He tells them that when you follow Him it’s not going to be comfortable nor peachy, but you will have the joy of being with Him. There is a cost to following Him as well as a line drawn. I think the guys who approached Jesus in the above text wanted their own Jesus. Jesus said he doesn’t play games, and if you want to follow me-follow me.

2 down and 2 to go. Stay tuned…

Re-post: Tebow lost but found

I love this story and reminded of this as Tebow has followed me all afternoon around the house. Got to say…he is a cool dog.

I often chat about pursuing “something.”  Whether that “something” is stuff, emotions, or people, you really don’t stop pursuing if you want it bad.  My life’s thesis is loving Jesus, loving others, and pursuing both.  I’m about pursing the “both.” Sometimes I forget what that means…until yesterday.

I have a dog named Tebow.  He is a blab, which means he is part beagle and lab.  Really, he just looks like a tall beagle …but we still love him.  Diana and I adopted  him from the South Augusta animal shelter about a year and a half ago. The spots on his face cover that sneaky little grin, all the while, his bark sounds like a broken one.  He is still our dog.  He is still our responsibility.  He is loved very much.

We had just installed our storm door and let the dogs in.  Peja, our 120lb Rottweiler  mix, lead the way with the charge through that NEW storm door.  Crash!!  They busted the door off the hinges…and the dogs were loose!  Peja loves her daddy (ME) so she came straight to me.  Tebow on the other hand, looked at me and in total disregard of that $125 puppy training, took off through the neighborhood. I ran after him but couldn’t catch him…it’s hard with flip-flops on.  Three and a half hours later…still no Tebow.

I was in the process of making a $500 reward.  Can you tell that I love my dog?  I went to every house and told them I had a missing dog.  I had walked through woods, ran on paved roads, drove for hours with the windows down, went to door to door with dripping sweat, and called a group of teenagers to help me look.  Still no Tebow.

Then all of a sudden…a little head poked out of the bushes across the street  of our subdivision (1/3 mile away) on the main hwy…at rush hour.  I didn’t even look both ways before crossing.  I just ran to him (my wife and mother in love were calling for him) and picked him up.  My nice dress shirt was now sweaty and very dirty, but I had my dog-Tebow.

I didn’t give up looking for Tebow and was willing to pay to have my dog back with me.  I know for some people they may think this is not a big deal.  Having a lost dog is part of life.  Giving up money and lots of time for something that has run away seems to be not worth it.  Pursing something and risking “what others think of you” is too great of a loss to be without. It is not worth it some will say.

I must disagree.  God pursued us. God payed the debt of our rebellion through the death of Jesus-the Cross.  Jesus didn’t care that people made fun of Him, He was NEVER ashamed of us.  He not have liked what we did or were doing, but He was NEVER ashamed.  He was beaten, dirty from blood and spit, and  tasted death so we don’t have to.  But, when He finds you…what joy is displayed from earth all the way to heaven.  The angels even reflect His joy! What was lost, is now found!

For today’s Church, It is always worth risking it all so that many can know Him.  When we are not ashamed of a God who pleaser is to bind the broken-we are drawn to His heart. When we  love the lost and those who are not found-we are drawn to His heart. When we make a big deal out the pursing of the people God payed for through the giving of His Son- we are drawn to His heart.

Was it worth it?  Yes. Would a I do it again?  You betcha.

To Follow You: part II

Packing the bags

1.   Who likes packing?

2.   Why?

Luke 5:27-32, story cont…

The young man whom name is deprived from priest decedents and Levites is now indulging himself in a corrupted job…stealing money from people and then partying it away. Jesus steps unto to the scene and offers him the chance to leave everything behind to follow him.

I think Levi had been waiting for a long time for that voice. He is despised. He is hated. He has been ostracized from most of society. And Jesus cares enough about him to stop by when not required by law to do so. Jesus accepts him. Jesus loves him (the most unloved man in Capernaum). And, Jesus calls him personally-“Follow me.” Since he was a boy he hadn’t imagined himself a righteous man. Now he is being called to accompany a holy man on his purposed travels.

1. Matthew didn’t worry about packing up his bags. Why do you think? (FYI: He probably wanted to leave EVERYTHING behind…and it was a joy for him to do so, so that he could follow and join the Savior of the world.)

2. In what ways do we pack up our bags?

To Follow You: part 1

Well…we just came off our To Follow You wkd. It’s like a D-Now but VERY different. D-Now’s are good…but To Follow You is great!  Here is the material as it is laid out for the weekend, written by your truly.

Saturday AM (JAM time)

Calling

FYI: A province was often divided into tax districts. The locals would bid for the contract of collecting taxes in their desired district. The bid was the money they were contracted to pay the government (Rome); whatever they collected over that amount was theirs to keep. Rome collected three principal kinds of taxes, (1) a land tax, (2) a head tax, and (3) a customs tax. Tax collectors were widely regarded as thieves and robbers (IRS meets lawyers).

Luke 5:27-32

After this, Jesus went out and saw a tax collector by the name of Levi sitting at his tax booth. “Follow me,” Jesus said to him, and Levi got up, left everything and followed him.

Then Levi held a great banquet for Jesus at his house, and a large crowd of tax collectors and others were eating with them. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law who belonged to their sect complained to his disciples, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and ‘sinners’?”

Jesus answered them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”

The calling in one’s life begins with a voice that will echo through someone’s heart and mind. Much like a mothers voice carries throughout a room until it lands on her child’s ear so does the calling on ones soul. In Levi’s (Matthew) case, it resonated in a result of leaving behind the comfortable lifestyle. The Saviors voice called for Levi… akoloutheo. The knock at his hearts door have just reverb down the halls of his soul. I bet that word was like music to his ears.

Jesus responds to the lonely tax collector with “join me” words.  Don’t we all like those words?  When that “great” person in our life or the person who holds weight in it calls out to us to join he or she in something. It makes you feel important doesn’t it? Joy has entered the room along with anticipation.  You forget what you were doing to follow after the call.

When Diana and I were dating or right before we were, I remember the first time she called my phone.  I was riding down the road in my pimp out Rodeo (sike!) headed to see a movie with my friend Tim. My phone rang and when I looked up I didn’t recognized the number. I waited for the voicemail and listened to Diana’s voice. Crazy! I saved that number…you betch ya. The next several days were crazy waiting…anticipating…for the call.

1. Remember when God called you?  Reflect on that.

You weren’t/aren’t a tax collector but nevertheless a corrupt (by sin) person with no calling. He calls you…God has called you to push back the darkness by the means of Jesus.

RESTORE: 40 days of restoration

Well, 40 days of restoration is Monday.  The 40 days will last until To Follow You weekend, which is March 5^th. So what is 40 days of restoration?  That seems to be the question that many people are asking…so here is my best explanation.

re·store (r-stôr, -str)

tr.v. re·stored, re·stor·ing, re·storation

1. To bring back into existence or use; reestablish.

2. To bring back to an original condition.

Back in August of last year, I was feeling as if I should give up on ministry.  Not that it was real hard, but my relationship with God wasn’t like it should be or what I felt it could be.  I began a journey of asking questions to which my heart felt that it needed answers.  Then it seemed like every time I heard a message or read a passage it always seem to be pointing me back to what was causing this stirring.

Our Fall Retreat rolled around and I was real excited.  For I knew that God was going to do something spectacular that only He could do, not only in the lives of teenagers, but in mine as well.  I left that FR 09 more exhausted than I came in. During that time, I asked my leadership team “how is their time with Jesus” from the scale of 1-10.  I heard more 3’s and 4’s than I expected.  Most of them said, “I don’t pray much” or “I just don’t pick up the Bible during the week.”  If that was happening to my leadership…then restoring has to happen. Questions still remain, and my heart was stirring again, not with emotion and wired feelings, but with a wanting of restoration. Then my Grandma past away…she went to be with my Jesus.  My life needed the cross more than anytime in my life.

So, I came up with a time of 40 days.  40 days in the Bible were times of cleansing (the flood), seeking {answers and guidance from God so that tough instances could be faced} (Moses w/the 10 Commandments), fasting (Elijah), and for God to show Himself (Jesus).  Many Churches do a 40 days or prayer or purpose.  This is definitely NOT that.  Not that isn’t good, but that isn’t what RESTORE is.  Restore is a time of YOU seeking for God to restore YOUR heart.

The above definitions of the word restore means “to bring back into existence” or “to bring back to original condition.”  That is exactly what we are asking God to do.  The Hebrew word is Shub, which means to turn back or return (Psalm 51:12).  The Greek word that we will use is Anapsuxis.  It means a recovery of breath or to be revived (Acts 3:19 or 2 timothy 1:16). I need to be revived, return to the feet of the Father.  He has lavished everything on us through His son Jesus and is pleading for His children to rest in Him.  His yoke is easy and His burden is light.  I need that.

So what does that look like?  Here below is my heart.

• Spending more time at His feet. Praying earnestly.  Getting up earlier and spending the first part of the day with Him.
• Hang with my Jesus.  Opening His Word and not just seeing pages, but living them out.
• Doing something risky for the Kingdom.  I don’t know what that looks like, but it might be my money…pride…image. I will look for ways to be Jesus at the well.
• Be pure.  In all ways…at home…how I treat my wife…friends…time…etc.

• Love my wife.  I should love her like Christ loves the Church.  In my actions, words, touch, and in my Jesus.
• Marinating on His promises for my life. Thinking feverishly about where He is leading me…nr ministries, Greenbrier, TreeHill, etc.
• Stepping up, stepping in, stepping out in this culture more. Haiti just got hit with a terrible earthquake. What can I do?  Costa Rica is close to my heart…what do I do? Inner City works and domestic violence has crippled the homes of many children…what can i do?  What WILL I do?

Your heart might need different things to happen than what mine needs. You need to seek God on that.  Will you join me? Not in a spam email or FB status way. Will you?  Do you need restoration? 40 Days of Restoration, January 25-March 5, 2010.

So where did it go wrong?

I came in my office hoping to get off the phone with Hank, which I did…45 minutes later.  Wanted to send some emails out and read a little, but it didn’t happen because I was distracted by the mess in my office.  I cleaned up the other day and it’s messy again.  Dang.  When did this happen?

Today I asked myself:  where did it go wrong?  Not that anything had happened or that I expected things to go wrong…but when did it?  I believe that is what the disciples asked themselves.  When did things get this bad?  Why did they have to take Him?  Where did everyone go? Wasn’t everyone just singing and shouting at His grand entrance, now they are shouting for his executing? Where did this thing go wrong?

Sometimes life happens.  Sometimes we watch for the mistakes of others and fail to see the mistakes we are making.  At times, we may focus too much on the future and not enough on the now.  Children grow up fast, ambitions fall at the sight of opposition, healthy bodies grow old in time, and financial struggles seem to cripple even the best of plans.  Life just happens.

I believe from a historical and Biblical perspective that the disciples were waiting on Jesus to do the impossible. Not like you and I are thinking, but in the way of cultural perspectives and Jewish religion.  They were there when He feed the thousands, they were there when Jesus raised the dead man, and they also saw His glory as He spoke with the words of Life.  He walked on water and calmed the storm, but I believe they asked themselves, “When did this go wrong?”  as their leader was taking away to be tried.  Jesus was tried as a criminal and faced death on a cross.

Some days have passed, and the disciples have all gone to what they know best…fishing.  For some, this was their previous occupation, for others maybe a getaway with friends after a horrible week, but they all have one thing in common:  the feeling of abandonment.

I do believe there are times when we ask ourselves when did this happen or better yet, how did this happen on our watch?  We feel the abandonment of normalness or the feeling that everything is going to be ok. If you have ever lost a loved one, you know this very clear, things happen so fast.  We can never be there right when things happen…we are not fast enough, we forget too easy, and we are human.   We tend to lean on our power of understanding, which is pretty limited.  We blink and things change.

My dad died when I was 13 and I often wonder if things would have been different if I would have been there when he took his life.  If I had cherished the good times with my Dad maybe I would think of good things whenever I think about him.  Things happen in our lives that we wish we knew were going to happen.  Parents think back to when their child hugged them, and now that same child is slamming the door in their face.  Those “I love you’s” have turned into “I hate you’s.”  When did this happen?  A wife who loves her husband has just found out that the feelings are not mutual.  His love for her has moved south.  Where did it go wrong?  When did income become as scarce as endangered animals?  The bottom fell out before I could grab it…ugh.

This blog is for anyone who has asked themselves “where did it go wrong?”  We often ask ourselves that question.  The disciples did too.  But even though the fragrance of despair lingered through the air, hope was on the horizon.  Jesus showed up and said, “Follow Me.” The rising sun is now above the tops of the mountain, and the orange and yellow are creeping between the trees. Hope has come.  We only need to follow now…where He is taking us might lead to more questions but at least we have company.

Know today that my Jesus loves you.  Like crazy He does.

Mission Baltimore

Well..next week I lead a team to Baltimore, MD.  We are partnering with Charm City Church and Metro kidz for 6 days during Christmas break.  Here is a blog post from Colleen, a missonary/director of Metro Kidz.  Please pray for the area and for our team.  We leave December 18-23rd.

Doughnuts with Drug Dealers

by COLLEEN on NOVEMBER 24, 2009

Two weeks ago, I felt like I was supposed to do something for some of the young boys who push drugs on our street corners, at first what that something was, wasn’t exactly clear, and honestly I wanted to run from the idea, these boys know me, they respect me and they know my name isn’t that enough? Why Lord, do you need me to get involved in their lives? I thought to myself, why would I even ask that, of course He wants me involved in their lives, why WOULDN’T he should have been the question. I am not gonna lie, I was scared to death.

So I thought and prayed and prayed and was like Lord what? What is it you have planned for me and these boys, that’s when it was revealed I was having doughnuts with dealers. I got up early one morning, left for work at 7:15 instead of 8 and went and bought a couple of dozen doughnut and some milk, and off I went. I couldn’t help but wonder, what on earth would these boys think of me, would they laugh at me and not take the doughnuts, would they beat me up, because they thought I might be ridiculing them?

Boy, was I ever wrong about what might happen that morning, after they realized, that no, I am not 5-0 under cover, these boys were more welcoming than most people I know. They invited me to their stoops, where they devoured two dozen doughnuts and a gallon of milk in record time. They wanted to know why I would do this, and when I told them it was simply an act of love, they smiled, I didn’t want to turn them in, I didn’t want to buy or sell them anything, in fact that morning I didn’t even really want to tell them about Jesus, I just wanted to love them like Jesus loves me. I did tell them about MetroKidz and how it was a place of hope, and they were more than welcome to come if/when they felt ready.

As the morning ended and I walked back to my car relieved, I thought to myself well I have planted the seed, someone else will come along and hopefully sow it. Little did I know that person might be me…that night one of the boys came to MetroKidz, he was well behaved, and no one knew about his lifestyle. He hugged me on the way in the door and thanked me. I smiled and my heart got really excited.

I really thought in my mind this might be a one-time affair, however these boys have different motives, they chased me down last Tuesday evening and asked if I was coming tomorrow with doughnuts, I looked at them smiled and said, I wasn’t planning too, however since you’ve asked I’ll be there. That morning tears were cried, stories were shared and one little boy who we’ll call “J” looked me in the eyes, with tears welling up and said, Miss you know my story is almost like yours except for I am a boy and you’re a girl. He said to me “I have hope today, I am getting on the bus and going to school for the first time in three weeks,” and that is exactly what he did.

On Thursday morning I boarded a plane for Atlanta, with a text message in my inbox, that said, “Miss Colleen, day 2 of going to school, can you pray for me?” I smiled to myself and tears welled up in my eyes, and I heard this “little” boys words through his text, a little boy who just wanted hope, who just wanted and need(ed)s someone to believe in him, a little boy who found his acceptance pushing drugs on a corner instead of in a school community or church.

Imagine what we could do if we all had a “J” if we all took sometime to give someone a little hope, if we all listened when God called us to be uncomfortable. Imagine if you woke up to a text message from a drug dealer who wants to change, who’s reaching out to you.

While I am not encouraging you to go stand on a corner with a prostitute, or a drug dealer (okay maybe I am), I am encouraging you to listen when God calls you to be uncomfortable. Listen when God calls you on a mission, because you’ll never know whose life you might be changing.